If you’ve hung in long enough to see this post, 1. you’re a trooper! 2. Follow me here and on instagram (teachinginpublic). and 3. this post has a happy ending!
To recap –
-taught at a private school which became a soul-sucking and bank-draining misadventure
-student taught and had a super awesome experience
-began teaching at a charter school and quickly had more misadventures riddled with… anxiety
-earned an ineffective improvement plan (ineffective because I was the only party who followed it! Effective because I went above and beyond to make it work on my own.)
That brings me to the end of my first full year at the charter school. At the end of every year (this was the last year they did this), they held exit interviews for EVERY staff member. They asked simple questions: how was you year? what can you or we do to improve next year? do you plan on returning?
To those questions I responded:
- My year was a roller coaster ride. I was given an improvement plan which worked because I made it work.
- To improve, you can make sure that the next improvement plan implemented for a staff member is ACTUALLY followed by both staff members. Next year, I would like more classroom management support earlier in the school year to prevent the stress that happened this year for my students and I.
- I’m not sure. I feel like I was not treated like a professional this year and am not sure I received the support I needed to be my best. (what I didn’t tell you in the last post is my admins came into my room at lunch one day demanding to know why my RTI data was late (by two days) and when I told them I was going to be homeless the next week and spent every. waking. hour. looking for housing, they responded, “that’s not a good enough reason.” and then expected me to keep working the rest of the day.)
- Questions? “Just one, are we finished or do you have any more questions for me?”
There were 3 people in this interview besides myself – the principal, curriculum coordinator, and head of human resources. Once I answered their final question, the HR person said, “You are a (insert school name here) through and through. You represent everything we say in our school motto/vision. I would really like you to give us another chance. WE. NEED. YOU.” Yes, I am gullible. Yes, it pulled on my heartstrings. Yes, I gave them another chance. No, I shouldn’t have.
The following year, I changed rooms, grades, and subject matter. I shouldn’t have done this either. I wanted so desperately to get out of second grade land. I thought my issue was the kids are too young, too needy (in a bathroom, can’t blow their nose, etc kind of way), and they don’t get my jokes. Maybe if I had older students, I would be a better teacher. While this IS true for me, it was not true that year.
I had some of my students from my first time in second grade again, now in fourth grade. There were some new students as well. My year was… not as bad as the year before. However, I had students with needs I had NEVER been trained to deal with and AGAIN did not receive support to help those students. So again, I was told I had classroom management issues. Again, it wasn’t resolved except by my own work.
In the midst of this, I had issues with TWO belittling colleagues. One made meetings extremely awkward and talked down to me. When I confronted her about it (in a VERY nice manner) she overcompensated and STILL made it awkward. The other belittled my students IN FRONT OF ME! “I’ll fix you next year.” “You won’t act like that in my class.” So, on. So much so, I had parent complaints. Oh, and the parents! Remember in my second post, I mentioned a set of parents who unreasonably disliked me? They upped their game. They no longer disliked me. They HATED ME!
During conferences, I asked our disciplinarian to sit in on theirs. Here’s the short (and NOT sweet) version of that meeting –
-student shares grades, goals, and work examples
-parents demand to know why I refused to let their child do (insert item here)
-I recited SCHOOL-WIDE rule
-they don’t care and “if it ever happens again, I’m going to take care of you.”
-(insert heightened eyebrows here from me) disciplinarian takes LONG pause and then says, “you can’t say that”
-dad adds, “What! If my wife won’t, then I will! And after we take care of you we’ll make sure you don’t have a job too.”
-disciplinarian SAYS LITERALLY NOTHING.
-“Well, I’m sorry you feel that way. If you dislike the school-rule, I suggest you speak with the principal. Until I hear otherwise, I will continue to hold your child to the same standards as every other student.”
-(as if it couldn’t get worse) parents begin to degrade me (IN FRONT OF THEIR CHILD) over the observation they DEMANDED to have. The dad observed me AND RECORDED ME IN MY CLASSROOM (obviously, without my knowledge or permission).
-the disciplinarian speaks up (yay! Right? wrong.) “I appreciate your concern but (insert my name) is one of the hardest working teachers I know. (PLEASE. STOP. HERE!!! Nope) She is aware of her classroom management issues and has asked for help since day one.” WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.
-At this point, I am almost in tears and I just will. not. allow. these parents to see me like that. So, I say, “This meeting is over. When you are ready to speak about your child’s success in my class and how we can work as a team to achieve that, let me know. Until then, goodbye.”
-I walk into an empty classroom nearby and have my (not first) panic attack in a dark classroom at this school. The principal finds me mid-panic attack and is so confused as to what to do. He asks if I’m okay (NO!) and should he get the nurse (NO.). I somehow manage the ability to tell him I will be fine in a few minutes and to see if any parents are waiting on me. I tell him if it’s the above parents, they must go and any others should be told there is a small delay. If he does this or not, I still don’t know.
After this, I scheduled a meeting with my admin team and explained what happened. I was adamant that our disciplinarian needed to be taught that what he did was NOT okay in front of parents AND that the student’s parents were NEVER allowed in my presence without admin present. Should I see them in the building without admin (and yes, I said this out loud) then I would call the police for fear of my life. Although, they SAID they would take care of it, I saw these parents without admin at least three more times that year. My mistake? I chickened out and didn’t call the police. I always walked away or found another place to be when they were there.
Which brings me to March or April (I can’t remember which). They held exit interviews… but this year it was only a few teachers. I found out why when I had mine. In my interview, they said, “Unfortunately, you are continuing to have classroom management issues so we are choosing to not renew your contract next year. While, you were selected to teach summer school, we understand and have arrangements if you decide not to.” Holding back tears of so many emotions, I mustered to say, “No, I agreed to teach summer school and so I will.” They asked if I had any questions, “No, have a nice day,” I said through tight teeth and walked out.
Now, it was bad enough this happened over a month before the end of the school year but it was also RIGHT before I had to pick up my students from lunch. I sobbed in a dark classroom and called my husband. I picked up my students with sunglasses on. They knew something was up. I didn’t tell them anything. I didn’t share that I was upset or that I would or wouldn’t be returning when I inevitably got the, “can I visit you next year,” “can I volunteer in your room next year,” etc.
I showed up to work the following Monday and there was a substitute in my room. THEY THOUGHT I WASN’T COMING BACK TO WORK. While I was PISSED, I understood because apparently the other person they “didn’t renew” never came back to work that day. I finished out my year as positively as possible. I returned for summer school. I also, with my tail between my legs and tight teeth, had to ask my principal for a recommendation letter.
Someone asked me a few weeks later, “why didn’t you just quit and why aren’t you badmouthing anyone?” I certainly had ample reason to do both. “I signed a contract in August. That contract is up in June. I plan to fulfill my obligation.” I continued with that attitude and apparently shocked everyone since I was the first “non-renewed” employee to act this way. I also told a trusted colleague who asked the same question, “I’m teaching summer school because of two reasons, I need the money and it makes them look ridiculous… not renew someone’s contract but you’ll let them teach summer school? Looks like egg on their face, not mine.”
This SUPER long post brings me to this, if I had never been fired, I probably wouldn’t have gotten the courage to leave. If I hadn’t left, I never would have gotten the job of my dreams. I worked ALL SUMMER teaching summer school (much to their surprise) and applying to jobs. I had four interviews. Two offered me a position. The last one to offer me a spot didn’t do so until mid-August. I was panicking that I wouldn’t find anything and I am so glad I was wrong. The school I student taught at snagged me up to teach 6th grade English. THIS year is my second year there and I LOVE IT! But more about that later.
For now, please know that not all private or charter schools are like these two. However, given the choice and based on my experience, I am staying in public school land as long as I can.
Respectfully yours,
Teaching In Public
Teaching In Public 