Big news here…. I won Teacher of the Year for my building!!! Woo! I’m honored to have won (especially now that I know I won based on a rubric score and not a popularity contest). In my state, private and charter schools don’t participate in TOY so I couldn’t be nominated until I changed schools.
As honored as I am, and truly I am, I’m not sure I like the attention. I’m not a “toot your own horn” type of person. I’m more of a “you need to prove yourself” kind of person.
I frequently feel like I need to prove my worth as a teacher, or at any job. Having this award shows me I am worthy but also gives me anxiety, irrationally, that they made a mistake and will take it away when they notice.
The truth – They didn’t make a mistake. The award isn’t going away. I have a LOT of work to do for the district level competition. I AM a good teacher and I AM worth the time it takes to do all that work.
When I finally let that sink in, I felt a little relieved and have moments of clarity where I can work on the paperwork required.
Each piece of the paperwork is a different type of reflection. I have to reflect on a lesson, how I connect students, a project I’m involved in, my experience, my message as Teacher of the Year, why I became a teacher, a major problem in education, and more. Not to mention the panel interview and class observation. (Ah!!!!!!!!! Talk about stress!)
I’ve felt a little overwhelmed and anxious about the amount of work. That being said, as I’ve started to dedicate time to each portion, I’ve realized they are all asking me to reflect on what makes me… me.
Each time, I’ve realized that reflecting has actually made me more confident and sure about my ability and next steps in the process. It’s helped me realize how far I’ve come from the teacher I used to be to who I am today.
Reflections help me see things differently, good and bad. It’s something I have been told I’m good at but something I don’t always initiate on my own. Reflecting can be a good thing if you’re using it to inform and improve.
So take a moment and think… how have you changed over the years? What’s something positive in your life? What’s something you could improve? Take the moment to reflect and strengthen your relationship with your self.
Positively yours,
Teaching In Public
Teaching In Public 