The end of the school year is extra exhausting. Add in family drama, difficult admin and parents, and being pregnant? To say my anxiety and stress have been on the rise is an understatement.
I’ve been struggling with whether or not I could cope with it on my own. At times, my anxiety gives me anxiety. Who would have guessed?! I get in my head and wonder I need help, need to use my coping skills, or am just over exaggerating.
Even with baths, naps, cuddling with the dogs, and other relaxation activities, it’s been tough. The stress and anxiety started coming through as irritation, crying, melancholy attitudes, sarcasm, etc.
Two weeks ago, my loving husband picked up on my increased anxiety and became the voice of reason. “Why don’t you call your therapist and schedule an appointment? Maybe she can help you work through some of the family stuff.”
Those two sentences were like a lifeline. I was drowning in my own mind and the life vest was thrown. That was enough to tell me it wasn’t me overreacting but rather me needing help through some difficult times.
The first time I called to start therapy was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I saw her for almost a year and she dismissed me after making a lot of progress. She helped me get off anxiety medicine so we could begin trying to get pregnant. She helped me create boundaries with toxic people and so much more.
So, I took my hubs’ advice and called to schedule an appointment. Of course, it’s been almost a year so I had to go through the process as if I’m a new patient. A week later, they finally called and I have an appointment next week.
I am so thankful to have the option of therapy and a husband who loves and respects my needs. This time of year is always especially stressful like I explained in my last post but with added stressors, it’s become a little too much.l to deal with on my own.
Thankful,
Teaching In Public
“Do I have to be up this early? I’m comfy with cuddly doggos. Snooze button!!!”
“wait… I can’t be late! I’M THE TEACHER!!!!”
“Must eat quickly!”
“Oh! Hello students! I am wide awake and smiling even though I haven’t finished my coffee! I was almost late today. I was told about a student schedule change 5 minutes ago. I was told about a spec Ed observation in my worst class ten minutes ago. I know you need a smile and to feel important! I am trying my best to be everything you need regardless of my own state of mind or needs.”
“Good morning! It’s time to work on your bell ringer! Please try each challenge and work for the next 5 minutes. We will go over it when time is over. If you are finished before time, please read.”
My face when someone says, “what am I supposed to do?” “I don’t have a pencil.” “They won’t stop looking at me!” “Can you tell him not to touch my paper?” I can continue but, yes, these are SIXTH graders… in flippin’ MAY who don’t have a PENCIL!!!!!!! 🤯
“I’m loving the participation but we need to remember to RAISE OUR HAND so everyone can be heard and be respected.” It’s. Flippin’. MAY!!!! 🤦♀️🤦♀️
Start instruction… “why are you out of your seat?” Oh sorry, I’m not supposed to phrase it that way, “I feel disrespected when you get up to sharpen your pencil as soon as I begin instruction. Please go back to your seat and sharpen it at a more appropriate time.”
Mixed emotions when I announce, “here is your notes page. We are going to go through this instructional video and take notes. I will pause the video as we watch so everyone can take notes and discuss the information. Please put your name, block, and date on your paper before we begin.” “Omg! Notes!?!” “Omg! We have to work?” “Can’t we have a free day?” “Why do we have to take notes?” 😳
“So much writing! Why do I have to take notes again?” “Is this a grade?” “Can’t I just start the writing piece without taking the notes?”
“someone is at the dooooooooor!” Even knowing the expectations… at least two students try to answer the door at the same time.
“I’m bored. I mean, I have to pee. Can I go to the bathroom? … what do you mean not now? Ugh!!!!!!”
“Pleas put your chair completely on the floor. I don’t want you to fall.” (I said it four times in ten minutes to the SAME student) “OMG! LEAVE ME ALONE!” (I couldn’t resist saying calmly and without emotion…) “I will if you’re sitting correctly.” And then moved on with instruction.
The same student mentioned above crumples their paper because I won’t let them leave the room. I give them an extra copy. They crumple this copy because they are already behind and think I’m moving too fast because I didn’t go back for them to catch up. So, I give them a third copy and plan to assign them lunch detention. The student visits the counselor then returns.
My face when that student catches up faster than any student who has been there the entire time. 🤦♀️ Why couldn’t you do that in the first place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Raised hand, “Yes! What does this mean?” “What time is it? I’m hungry.” 🤦♀️😳
My face as I say, “Thank you for raising your hand but that is an off-task question.”
“What’s that in the window!?” My sanity FLYING away!
“Let’s move on! Now that we are finished with notes, you have 20 seconds to put it in the notes section of your binder. (Counting) okay! You should now have your notes away! Let’s change gears to a group project!”
“Group what!”
“Do I get to pick my group?”
“Nope!” 🤪
This is the face I see… them hanging on every word as I explain the project… now that I FINALLY have their attention.
“Wait… it’s that easy?” “Yes!! It is!” They had 15 minutes to plan a presentation for their class about 1 class rule. They were assigned groups and rules. They had to explain one example of following that rule and why it’s important for you to follow it, for your classmates that you follow it, and your teacher that you follow that rule. They present tomorrow!
Bell rings! That means it’s time to go! MUAHAHA! Except!!! I intercept them at the door and make sure they leave one by one so they don’t sprint down the hall and fall on their face.
Teaching In Public 