Teaching In Public

Transform Your Classroom One Day at a Time (in 10 steps) – Part 2

Posted on April 24, 2019 by teachinginpublicblog

Here are the rest of my tips to transform your classroom (all of which I employed Thursday)!

6. Grab their attention.

Attention getting strategies are a life saver!!! Grab their attention with a sound (like a chime or clapping), call and response, do something unexpected or silly, or the classic, just get quiet and still.

Extra tip: if you have an extra talkative or squirrelly group, get their attention and then release it within a minute or so. I like to give directions and then have students turn and talk to review them. I have them do one direction at a time every 10-30 seconds so I ask for and release their attention every 30-60 seconds.

I also use an acronym from Teach Like a Champion– STAR. Check the image on this post for more.

7. Provide choices.

Choices are everywhere! Give your students choices in how the complete an assignment, the topic they write or research about, partners, seats, and more!

My most common choices include project choices (essay or a creative option), seating options or partners (when I’m especially brave), consequences/warnings (do this or – don’t do this and), timing (do this before or after), and voting (lights on or off).

8. Add music.

This is flippin’ magic. I tested the theory last week. My class was getting louder as they worked on projects. I turned on instrumental music and just watched… it worked! I expected them to be talking but they were too loud! When the music came on, they started to decrease in volume throughout the room. This also helps during silent independent work. It fills the theoretical space and makes some students feel more comfortable.

Know your students! This can have the opposite impact on some students.

9. Trust them.

We’ve all heard of helicopter parents but have you heard of bulldozer parents? These parents clear obstacles for their children. Don’t be that teacher. Let them struggle a little. Guide them in how to persist in difficult moments. As teachers, we also need to help students feel trusted. They know when you don’t trust them. Give them opportunities to do the right thing, learn a lesson, or turn it around. They may just surprise you!

10. Reflect and teach them to reflect.

I have found that my best moments come after asking, “what went well and what didn’t? What did I do that benefited my students and what did I do that caused something to not go well?” Be honest with yourself. Usually, when I have issues in my classroom, it’s because I did something wrong. For example, waiting too long or short between responses, not planning effectively for transitions, or not addressing a behavior quickly or privately. We all make mistakes! Own it! Learn from it!

It’s equally important to teach your students how to reflect. Help them reflect on behavior, learning, grades, effort. This is a lifelong skill! And one too many of our students don’t learn at home.

And that’s all folks!!!

Kidding! There’s lots of tips to transform your classroom! The key is wanting to be your best for your students. Be honest with yourself and your students. Pick one new thing to focus on and try it! A sure fire way to fail is to either refuse to admit your mistakes or to try to fix too many things at once.

What is your best tip for a new or struggling teacher?

Admittedly yours,

Teaching In Public

Education

Transform Your Classroom One Day at a Time (in 10 steps) – Part 1

Posted on April 22, 2019April 22, 2019 by teachinginpublicblog

This year our spring break felt like it would NEVER get here! April 18th was our last day of school before break.

We had just finished state testing for 7th and 8th grade ELA and Math and 6th grade ELA. Each week we test, our schedule changes so students test in the morning and have electives at the end.

THEN! We had one week of crazy schedule to make it fair to elective teachers but no testing.

THEN! We had a book fair and community event! Not to mention all the other crazy events leading to break. Needless to say, we were all feeling the struggle, students and adults alike.

My students were a little squirrel-y Thursday (you know… the day break is about to start, testing is over for the week, some students are checked out for the day…….. ). I can’t say I blamed them for being a little out of whack. So, I did everything in my power to help the day run smoothly, positively, and with a spark of fun.

Here are ten tips to transform your classroom (all of which I employed Thursday)!

1. Be consistent! and 2. Set high and clear expectations.

This should be employed at the start of the year and continued every day. If you didn’t start this year with high and clear expectations, it’s not too late! Start NOW! It will be an uphill battle but you can win!

One way I do this in my classroom is when explaining work time expectations. We have a brief class discussions about the assignment and what it should look or sound like when they are working and HOLD THEM TO IT! There’s a consequence for everything we do – positive and negative. You’re asking your students to misbehave if you have said to be silent during work but allow them to talk or said to work independently but allow them to work together. Say what you mean. These students have enough instability in their lives. They don’t need an easy teacher. They need a consistent one.

During an observation earlier this year, my VP heard me say, “you have 10 minutes to read your example essay, correct it, and grade it using our rubric. Go!” We had already gone over what it should look and sound like and how to accomplish the task. She told me later that she didn’t think they could do it in 10 minutes. They did it in 9 and a half minutes. My students accomplished the task by being held to a reasonable yet high and clear expectation.

3. RELATIONSHIPS!

This is the number 1 strategy you should have in your pocket. Students need to feel connected. When you have a positive relationship with your students, they will do almost anything for you and be the best versions of themselves. See my post, “Real Talk… the Secret to Teaching,” for more about relationships.

4. Be funny!

Don’t force this. It has the opposite impact if you try too hard to be funny. Look for moments where you can insert humor naturally. This could be a conversation with a student, the class, in the hallway, in a lesson, etc. I’ve gotten better at this over the years and it’s gotten easier.

I have students who just get me. They get my humor and sarcasm. Some students don’t so I’m careful to watch which kind of humor I use around them. These students though, I will sit at my desk for attendance and shoot a glance at them. If they’re looking at me, I make a face or sigh dramatically and they lose it! They find it soooooo funny!

Yesterday, I used humor to get my way. I asked students to clean up and only one followed directions. Instead of arguing, yelling, or any number of strategies, I decided to use humor. I turned on my class microphone and started singing the clean up song, we all know it. “Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share!” AND THEY JOINED IN! SIXTH GRADE STUDENTS! And they did what I wanted – cleaned up.

5. Take a break.

When you work out, you’re supposed to give your muscles a break and rest. Your brain is a MUSCLE! So, why not give your brain a break? It’s important to know your students here. Some students need a brain break that gets them moving and energized but others need a rest and quiet. I use both to accommodate my students. Not sure what this looks like? Check out some examples below.

Energizers – Jumping jacks, Simon says, four corners, fake Simon says (do the opposite), heads up 7up

Rechargers – (I’m sure there’s a name for it but I don’t know it) quiet time, 1 minute nap, 20 questions, silent reading break

Check in tomorrow for part 2!

One day at a time,

Teaching In Public

Education

10 Things Teachers Need to (or SHOULD) Hear

Posted on April 16, 2019April 21, 2019 by teachinginpublicblog

I’m a tad biased but… teachers are underestimated, underpaid, and under-appreciated. I have no piles of money laying around so I can’t begin to touch the underpaid problem BUT I can teach others how to appreciate teachers!

Here are 10 phrases you need to, or should, say to teachers in your life (plus my snarky comments).

1. Thank you.

Seriously. I can’t believe I have to put this here. If a teacher does something that gives you a feeling of gratitude, gratefulness, happiness, or any strong positive emotion, let them know! We can’t read your mind! We are severely under-appreciated! Just say thank you once in a while!

2. Please.

Don’t assume we will do whatever you want (you know what you get when you assume right?).Use your flippin’ manners! When you don’t, all I think is, “I see where you student learned it from.”

3. I don’t know how to… Could you teach me so I can help my child at home?

Sometimes parents want to help their child on projects or homework but don’t know how! Instead of saying, “this isn’t how I learned!” ASK!!!!!!!!!! We. Will. Help. You!

4. Can I help you?

I’ve noticed a trend. As students get older, less parents get involved. Offer to help!!!!! You could chaperone, make copies, help struggling students, help run a school activity. The possibilities are almost endless! We have so much on our plates and we give so much of ourselves to our students. Giving us some help means we can give more, too.

5. I support you.

When I call you saying your child received a consequence, that’s all I’m trying to communicate! I don’t need your support or say so to enact an appropriate consequence but it goes a long way to show or say your support in those circumstances. It communicates that you trust the teacher and that you see them as someone your child should respect.

6. You are a professional.

Not a babysitter! We are there to educate your child, not just watch them. I would gladly accept a babysitter pay rate since it would be exponentially more than I am paid now.

When I call you and explain that your child refused to learn or made learning difficult for others, LISTEN!!!! It’s YOUR job to parent, not mine. I will discipline your child in an appropriate manner, when necessary, but if you do NOTHING at home to reinforce those lessons and teach your own, then you are failing your child.

7. I won’t call, email, or message you over the weekend, before 7am, or after 9pm.

Please don’t. We have lives outside of the classroom. Your child’s grade, issue, or whatever can wait until a decent hour.

Didn’t your mama ever teach you that it’s rude to call before 8am? My mom also told me that nothing good happens after 10pm. Some teachers have their emails connected to their phones for emergencies (like closings, delays, etc). Either it can wait or you need to wait. Don’t be THAT parent. Trust me, we complain about you to other teachers.

8. Here’s some coffee.

This is like saying, “I hope you have a good day but, just in case, here’s some go-juice.” This is such a cliche but a lot of us reallllllllllllllllly like coffee. Then there’s the strange people…. the teachers who can be perky without caffeine. I don’t understand how……………..

9. Here’s some wine.

Or beer. Or gift cards so we can buy our own. I think we all know why some of us like to occasionally drink after work.

10. I’m sorry.

Seriously, this means SO much! We all know that your child is special. Every child is special. But hearing, “oh no, not my baby!” is equivalent to, “liar, liar, pants on fire!” Stop undermining teachers! This is made even worse when you say it in FRONT OF YOUR CHILD! Seriously, you don’t call your partner a liar in front of your child do you? I hope not. So, if you make a mistake, be a big enough person to own up and apologize. This goes hand in hand with #5.

Now, go make a teacher smile! Especially the ones that haven’t started spring break yet (it’s April 15th). We are not okay.

Sarcastically yours,

Teaching In Public

Education

Real Talk… the Secret to Teaching

Posted on April 13, 2019April 13, 2019 by teachinginpublicblog

Money…….. 🤣 yeah right! Time off…. 😂 no way! Pleasant parents, administrators, and perfectly behaved children…… 😂🤣😂in your dreams!

So, what is the “secret” to teaching?

Relationships.

I LOVE Rita Pierson’s Ted Talk… “kids don’t learn from people they don’t like.”

Now, not every child will like or love you! I’m certainly not every persons cup of tea! Heck, I have kids who don’t even like metaphorical tea!

BUT

Teachers should, and need to, treat every child as if that child likes them. Kids know when someone doesn’t like them! (I mean, don’t we all? At least most of the time.

Build relationships with students. Go out of your way to take an interest in them as human beings, not scores or evaluations.

I have an unspoken rule… well, it’s spoken at the beginning of the year and THEN unspoken. “If you want me to attend, you have to invite me. I will do my very best to go.”

I have students I wouldn’t expect invite me to games, plays, concerts, church! I have students who come back the year after to invite me to events!

But also, ask how they are doing. Ask about their friends and family. Be human! Make connections! Tell them about your awkward younger self. Share stories of when you made a mistake. Be there for them.

Story time…. (for the nonbelievers and empathetic people, like me)

Last year, I had one of THOSE students. I mentioned her in yesterday’s post. Here’s a few examples of her behavior from last year:

Calling out all. The. Time.
Talking during instruction, silent work, tests…
Rude to almost everyone
Said shut up to classmates and teachers
Would almost get in fights all. The. Time.
Started drama
Cut class
Low grades
“I don’t care” attitude
Refused to reflect, regroup, or accept responsibility
Cursing
Got in arguments with substitutes
Got into a “shut up” match with a substitute
And so. Much. More.

She was headed down the wrong path with no way out.

BUT

Every day I greeted her with a smile. I told her how happy I was she was in my class (“yeah right!” She always said). I still offered my help on assignments and took an interest in her friends and life.

At the end of the year, she started to break down her wall… just a tiny speckle of her wall cracked. She asked for my advice!!!!!!!

Someone was saying mean things about her… so she wanted to fight them. I told her,

Don’t let someone else’s stupidity define who you are.

I asked her a few rapid answer questions after that, “Are you (insert what thy said about her here)?” She said no to every single one. So I finally asked her,

Then why does it matter what they say? You know who you are, what you are, and what you’re not. That’s what matters. Maybe by changing your actions to match how you feel inside, you can make them realize that they’re the ones who are wrong.

She said I made sense. Honestly, I didn’t put much faith in her answer. She seemed to be listening but she had NEVER acted on my advice before, so why now?

At the beginning of this year, she blew me away. She came to visit and said,

Do you remember what you said to me last year? It changed my life. I started seeing things differently after that. I saw my younger brother doing what I did and getting in trouble. One of my aunts went to jail. My mom sat me down and talked to me too. She asked me if I wanted to be like my aunt or cousins that get in fights and get arrested a lot. All I could think about is what you told me. I know who I am and that’s not how I’m acting. This year is going to be different.

(I’m not crying… you are!)

Fast forward to today. This SAME child participated in the national day of silence in support of the LGBTQ community through our Gay Straight Alliance club. Yesterday, I told her that all of her teachers had complimented her. Last night, she told her mom about her grades (2 Fs and multiple Cs and Ds). She also told her mom about what I said. Today, she told me about the conversation and that her mom was proud of her and that they could work together on her grades. (She told me before I remembered she was participating in the day of silence. The rule at our school was you could be silent but if an adult asked a question, you needed to answer.)

Relationships.

Every classroom success you experience will be:

10% luck
20% education
20% experience
50% relationships

Obviously, this is not scientific data BUT a majority of your success will come from building relationships with your students.

Nostalgically yours,

Teaching In Public

Education, Journey, Mental Health

Reflecting isn’t just for Mirrors

Posted on April 11, 2019 by teachinginpublicblog

Big news here…. I won Teacher of the Year for my building!!! Woo! I’m honored to have won (especially now that I know I won based on a rubric score and not a popularity contest). In my state, private and charter schools don’t participate in TOY so I couldn’t be nominated until I changed schools.

As honored as I am, and truly I am, I’m not sure I like the attention. I’m not a “toot your own horn” type of person. I’m more of a “you need to prove yourself” kind of person.

I frequently feel like I need to prove my worth as a teacher, or at any job. Having this award shows me I am worthy but also gives me anxiety, irrationally, that they made a mistake and will take it away when they notice.

The truth – They didn’t make a mistake. The award isn’t going away. I have a LOT of work to do for the district level competition. I AM a good teacher and I AM worth the time it takes to do all that work.

When I finally let that sink in, I felt a little relieved and have moments of clarity where I can work on the paperwork required.

Each piece of the paperwork is a different type of reflection. I have to reflect on a lesson, how I connect students, a project I’m involved in, my experience, my message as Teacher of the Year, why I became a teacher, a major problem in education, and more. Not to mention the panel interview and class observation. (Ah!!!!!!!!! Talk about stress!)

I’ve felt a little overwhelmed and anxious about the amount of work. That being said, as I’ve started to dedicate time to each portion, I’ve realized they are all asking me to reflect on what makes me… me.

Each time, I’ve realized that reflecting has actually made me more confident and sure about my ability and next steps in the process. It’s helped me realize how far I’ve come from the teacher I used to be to who I am today.

Reflections help me see things differently, good and bad. It’s something I have been told I’m good at but something I don’t always initiate on my own. Reflecting can be a good thing if you’re using it to inform and improve.

So take a moment and think… how have you changed over the years? What’s something positive in your life? What’s something you could improve? Take the moment to reflect and strengthen your relationship with your self.

Positively yours,

Teaching In Public

Education

What Your Students Need is… You!

Posted on April 10, 2019April 10, 2019 by teachinginpublicblog

Over my few years of teaching I have noticed a trend. We ALL have that one kid who drives us crazy. You know the one. The kid who is NEVER absent, always seems to be in trouble, and it acts like they hate you. So what do they need?

I’m sure we could all come up with a few things like more discipline, a steady home life, respect for others… we could come with tons to fill this blank!

What they REALLY need is YOU. We can’t control their home lives, their friends, or the choices they make. We CAN control the teacher we become around them.

There’s one thought that clears my mind when I’m frustrated and ready to snap back at this student – if I was dealing with the things they are… what would I need?

The answer is different for each situation even if it’s the same student! Thinking that question will ensure that your reaction to their misbehavior is because you want them to learn versus be punished.

This idea comes up in parenting when people talk about appropriate discipline. It’s not appropriate because the parent decided to discipline that way. It’s appropriate because the parent isn’t disciplining out of anger, frustration, revenge, or to diminish the child in any way. They’re reacting with the goal of teaching the child right from wrong.

This sounds crazy simple (and super hard) but it’s not! When you understand why a child is misbehaving or how to help, it’s easier to see that the misbehavior isn’t personal.

Disclaimer: there are children who fall outside of this norm.

Still don’t believe me? Not sure what this looks like? Here are three examples of students who were really in my classroom –

DRAMA QUEEN – The drama queen of the ENTIRE grade was in my class and she had a friend who followed in her footsteps. They both had the same problem – they felt unheard, unseen, and unimportant. So I thought… if I was feeling that way, what would I need? I would need to feel heard, seen, and important. To fix the misbehavior, I gave each student a journal. They wrote in it during our bell ringer about whatever was on their mind. The journal stayed in my class and I would not read it unless they left it on my desk and I wouldn’t write in it unless they asked me to write back. I had two journals on my desk every day after that. They still misbehaved but it rarely happened in my classroom because it was a safe space for them. The next year, they had moments of feeling overwhelmed and asked if they could write their teacher a note about it. Not only did they get what they needed in my class, they learned a coping skill for life.
Low academics = high misbehavior – I was teaching elementary grades and one student would have full tantrums when… I asked her to work, she didn’t understand, she was in a mood, I mean you name it! One was during an observation!!!!! I finally figured out why – she felt unimportant, unintelligent, and lacked materials for school. So I thought… if I was feeling that way, what would I need? I would need to feel important, intelligent, and have supplies I need. To fix the misbehavior, I gave the student books to keep before winter vacation and told her to ask me anytime she needed school supplies. I also called home for positives more often and had her volunteer in class more when I knew she would succeed. The student still misbehaved but a LOT less. Slowing the misbehaviors due to needs being met helped the parents narrow down when the behavior could and could not be controlled to later realize the student needed medicine as well.

I-do-what-I-Want-Kid – this student has gotten by on athletic ability and being so irritating and irrational that people push him on to get rid of him. No one has done this child any favors. The mom has older children that are even worse and have been terrible role models. This student lacks limits, consistency, choice, and someone who believes in their ability (non-athletic). When this student tests, they usually click through without reading anything because of the sustained effort. Knowing that the student needs consistency, choice, and limits, we made a deal. During the state test they could pause when they finish an entire page of questions then take a walk to the office and back. On the essay section we changed it to every 10 minutes. He had the choice to take the break. The first day of testing he took every. Single. Break. The second day he only took half and the third day he finished testing. He went from testing in 5 minutes to 3 days.

Students have needs that must be met. I’ve had students with all sorts of needs from the ones listed above to lacking food, feeling worthless, and feeling pressured to be perfect.

Each one has improved, some more than others, when I have successfully thought out why they were acting that way and how I would want to be treated in that situation.

Try it! Think about your tough kid. Why do they act that way? Really think and try to pin it down to one or two reasons. Do they feel important? Do they feel smart? Do they feel like they matter? Do they have enough school supplies? Do they feel helpless? Help your growing humans to learn how to be their best selves.

Thoughtfully yours,

Teaching In Public

P.S. below are a list of things I’ve done/used for THOSE students:

Journaling
Timed breaks
Giving school supplies
Positive comments or phone calls
Emotional check-ins
Direction check-ins
After school tutoring
Helper (deliver a note, help a student, be the teacher to explain a concept)
Relate to them (share something that you have in common like a sport or difficult situation)
Give them a compliment unique to them
Greet them at the class door by name
Dismiss at the class door by name (—– hope you have a great day!)
Be consistent with deals or breaks or whatever they end up needing
Help them find a mentor
Go to their games or events
Write them a positive note
Give them (or help them get) good during the day, after school, or weekends
High five them
SMILE when you see them

There’s more! We need to change our thought process from “what’s wrong with them?” To “what do they need?”

Education, Mental Health

I Give Myself Permission to Feel… Annoyed.

Posted on April 8, 2019April 8, 2019 by teachinginpublicblog

That’s right. Annoyed. Today begins the week from hell. A week of not being allowed to do my job. There will be another week that is just the same in another month.

State testing.

A week of no instruction, just testing. A week of not being allowed to help my students, just testing. A week of practically cruel and unusual babysitting.

“What is this word?” “I’m sorry I can’t answer that. Just do your best.”

“What does this mean?” “I’m sorry I can’t answer that. Just do your best.”

“I don’t understand the question. Can you rephrase it for me?” “I’m sorry I can’t answer that. Just do your best.”

“Did I write enough?” “I’m sorry I can’t answer that. Just do your best.”

And even though the students know to expect the same answer, the still look hurt or surprised every time I say it. It is, by far, the worst and most annoying week of my entire school year. AND I HAVE TO DO IT TWICE (Math and ELA)!

It gets worse! When students are finished they can read (no textbooks), draw, write, color, and put their head down (can’t sleep or snore) BUT anything they write, draw, or color HAS TO BE SHREDDED at the end of the session.

Not only is this a terrible week for me but the following things also irritate me about this week:

I have to fake that I don’t hate state testing
Students with ADHD or other attention/focus issues have to test for HOURS throughout this week
Our lunch was switched to accommodate testing
Some of my kids just don’t test well
I have to walk around to make sure no one cheats
Walking around makes students more likely to ask for help that I CAN’T GIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
among other things

Some may think, oh test week! It’s like a mini vacation. Yes! It is! A mini vacation where you can’t relax, you can’t waste time on social media or socializing, and you can’t have all you can eat at a breakfast buffet by the beach.

Even though I STRONGLY DISLIKE this week, I need to make it a positive environment for my students so they can feel successful and positive. To help I have purchased cheerios for snacks, gum, mints, and plan to take breaks for the bathroom and maybe one or two outside breaks, if it’s nice out.

As you go about your week, say a prayer for my sanity.

Temporarily sane,

Teaching In Public

Mental Health

Permission to Feel

Posted on April 7, 2019 by teachinginpublicblog

I had to learn to give myself permission to feel – stressed, happy, exhausted, etc. My first experience with this, that I remember, is with my doctor.

Years after being officially diagnosed, I went back to the doctor to talk about medicine. This was elaborated on in a previous post. I told her that I finally wanted to talk about medicine because my anxiety was becoming physical with eye twitches and heart palpitations. In my mind, I was downplaying all of my other symptoms as non-physical.

“Anxiety is very physical. You have panic attacks where you feel like you can’t breath. You feel the stress in your body. You have tension because of stress you haven’t let go of. Anxiety is very physical.” this is what my doctor told me and it was enough to start breaking down my walls.

Later, almost a YEAR later, I started seeing a therapist. I remember talking to her about my stress at the time. I told her, I shouldn’t be stressed at that moment. She pointed out positive and negative stress in my life and asked why I couldn’t feel stressed if I had stress in my life. Again, I was downplaying my anxiety.

When I was a kid, people would tell me, “you’re ____ years-old. You don’t know WHAT stress is!” and other not so nice things that adults still say.

Once I was able to break down that wall it got easier to reflect on how I was feeling and why. I am the only person that has power to make myself feel a particular way. No one can tell me my feelings are not valid. AND I had to learn that even positive changes can be stressful.

Which brings me to yesterday. I decided not to post anything yesterday and take a day off from almost everything: blogging, housework, schoolwork, etc. I realized that I had been stressed out and hadn’t done much to recharge. Before I could relax, I had to figure out why I was feeling stressed and let myself feel.

Well, I had plenty of reasons once I started thinking (some I hadn’t thought stressed me out until I began thinking about my stress).

Stressful situations/circumstances (it’s important to note that these changes don’t have to directly be about me to cause me some level of stress)–
- temporary house guest staying too long and finally moving out
- nominated for a big award at work
- house guest now gone but still causing problems
- best friend visiting for first time in a year
- wedding anniversary
- birthdays of multiple family members (think: parties, socializing, buying presents, etc)
- taking off time at work for a training
- attending a training
- taking off time at work for my bff (I literally NEVER take personal days so this was a stressful decision)
- end of the marking period (work, grades, etc)
- state testing training
- a week of state testing
- working an after-school job and tutoring on the weekends
- dog-sitting
- having anxiety
- menstrual cycle
- other things I either don’t want to list of have since forgotten (anxiety makes me forget, a lot)

So, what can I do about it? Well, most of those situations are unavoidable like testing, end of marking period, and birthdays. The ones I can control will still stress me out but I can (and did) handle them at the time. BUT even though they are unavoidable or handled already they STILL STRESS ME OUT! Which causes me to have increased anxiety which stresses me out… and the cycle continues.

Yesterday, I decided to do something about it. I played hookie (on a Saturday so not sure if it counts XD ) and went to a close-by city that had plenty of stores and wide-open spaces to avoid people. I shopped and spent some time with myself. I had lunch at a place my hubs doesn’t like much. I shopped at stores we don’t usually go to and I found bargains I didn’t know I was looking for and you know what? I felt better.

Some of my stress and stressors are still there but spending some time with myself and enjoying it made a huge difference in helping me feel recharged.

My lesson? Allow yourself to feel stressed (or however you are feeling). Like yourself and spend time alone sometimes. Do something you don’t normally get to do or something you’ve been meaning to do but just don’t take the time. There’s something about setting time to yourself and enjoying it that makes a world of difference.

Thankfully yours,

Teaching In Public

Mental Health

Honesty is the best policy… right?

Posted on April 5, 2019April 5, 2019 by teachinginpublicblog

When I could finally put a name to the irritability, attacks, breathing problems, forgetfulness, and other symptoms, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. Knowing what it was made me feel more in control and more like it wasn’t all in my head (even though that’s where anxiety usually starts).

Even though, I was a college student when this happened I still felt like I couldn’t tell people. I felt like having a mental illness made me weak or strange. It was such a catch-22. I felt relieved that there was a reason to my symptoms but I felt like I would be judged if other people knew.

For that reason, I didn’t tell my parents until years later. I started with my dad. We happened to be at dinner or lunch, just the two of us. Towards the end, I started to open up. I felt like one of those dramatic scenes where someone is uncovering a deadly disease or that they come out of the closet. I’m not trying to diminish deadly diseases, coming out of the closet, or having a mental illness but my anxiety made me feel overly dramatic like a tense movie scene. AND IT WAS SOOOOOO ANTI-CLIMACTIC! My dad literally looked at me and said, “and… oh, that’s it? Well, that’s not a big deal. Take care of yourself and do what you need to do. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.” Then he said the magic words, “I won’t tell your mom.”

Now, again, I’m a married ADULT who doesn’t live at home, pays her own bills, has a full-time job, etc. And I didn’t want my mom to know I had anxiety. I also didn’t want her to know I was on medication or about to see a therapist.

Months later I opened up to her about the anxiety and medicine piece in hopes that it would help her in a problem she was facing. It didn’t and it kind of back-fired for me. At a holiday dinner, she gave me a book titled, “Overcoming Anxiety…” which I haven’t read because the book gives me anxiety (Isn’t it ironic… ).

She got weird too. If I didn’t post enough on social media, she would call worried. If I didn’t want to go to an event, she would be worried. BUT she would be dismissive if something was going on. For example, “I don’t want to go because I haven’t had any recharge time so I’m staying home.” “You’ll feel better if you get out of the house!” No. No, I won’t.

She did the same when I was growing up. Whenever I had anxiety attacks she would blame school stress, my friends, my over commitment to extra-curriculars, my period, someone at school, or any number of excuses.

I was told at the charter school to not tell my admins for fear of reprimand or judgement.

I told my friend who (I love her to pieces) asks me all the time if she’s stressing me out and tip toes around me.

I was told to be aware who I told at my dream job for fear of judgement and the busy body’s who would turn it into a negative.

I told my husband (before going to the doctor) and although he has a better concept now of how real it is for me, he did not understand at first. “Get over it.” “You’re over exaggerating.”

Honesty is great! IF being honest is constructive and to the right person. I wouldn’t tell my deepest secrets to the town gossip but I should be honest with those in my close circle like my husband. Not everyone needs to know everything.

Select your circle carefully. Who has your best interest at heart and is able to support you? While my mom has my best interest at heart, this is an area she can’t support me in right now. Although she already knows, it isn’t something I bring up if I can help it with her.

Blind honesty has its place like with your doctor, therapist, and people who need to know for safety, medical, or other decision making instances. That doesn’t mean you need to be transparent with everyone you meet.

Who else am I able to be blindly honest with????? My dogs.

This idea of thoughtful honesty is exactly why I have and will remain anonymous as this blog continues. This gives me the freedom to share stories, strategies, and other information that may benefit someone else without fear of embarrassment of myself or others and without violating any privacy codes since all names will be omitted including places of employment. Just like in teaching, if this blog helps even one person, it’s worth it.

Honestly yours,

Teaching In Public

Mental Health

Self-Care… the New Buzzword

Posted on April 5, 2019 by teachinginpublicblog

Self-care is great if you figure out what works for you. That being said, please don’t be one of those people who use it as an excuse to be greedy or ignorant.

“Oh, I bought this million dollar burger in the spirit of self-care.” I smell b.s.

Here’s a list of things that work and don’t work for me. Feel free to add what works for you in the comments! You never know who might need your idea.

No way!

Say yes to everything and everyone.

Talk it out.

Scream into a pillow.

Count to … (any number)

Tried and true (although not every one works every time. It really depends on where it’s stemming from and what my mind needs in that moment.)

Create

Make a list

something

Read

watch

Relax

Exercise

Touch

Cook

Think

Journaling

https://www.etsy.com/listing/589023162/paw-print-diffuser-bracelet-aromatherapy?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=oil+bracelet+diffuser&ref=sr_gallery-2-4&organic_search_click=1&pro=1

I’m no expert but I think the idea of self-care is to take time to enjoy life and, when dealing with stress or mental illness, take time to regroup so the stress or issues don’t overcome your life.

Creatively yours,

Teaching In Public